Hi all,

I thought I'd add a quick note, with this being my first blog entry.

I specalise in poems of extreme gormlessness, and wrote my first one after getting into John Cooper Clarke back in 1991. A few years later, in 1993, I saw JCC live in my hometown of exotic Bolton, supported by the legendary Hovis Presley. I enjoyed his set as much as JCC's, and bought a copy of his book, Poetic Off-...

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I saw a Hippopotamus going to the fair,
wearing pink pyjamas with a bow up in his hair,
he was followed by a Zebra who was wearing bright
blue socks,
a Chimp and a Koala bear, wearing matching frocks,
they climbed into the teapots looking quite a sight,
and a little old man spat out his teeth as they gave him quite a fright!

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Into the Wilderness

Into the wilderness we went. Edhweirft and Hwyrflung swirled above us, blowing and bustling through the treetops. Watching. Threatening. But maintaining a safe distance as the trees protected us

Scrunch

Crack

Squelch

Scrunch

Crack 

Squelch

... we went, as the gloam drew in. Druuuuuin!! Closer. Druuuuuuuuiiiiinnnn!!!!! Closer. It hugs, this gloa...

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Sci-Fi So Good

I look up to the spickly skies and wonder whether creatures

are idly looking down on me with glubulitious features.

For if the truth is out there (and I have no cause to doubt),

is it green or mangerine and does it blodge about?

Does it wear snickly nylon suits that sprackle when it walks

and will it chuggle like a baby every time it talks?

...

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